Here we are again!

This is the second day, technically the third day of the second last week of April. We are growing older and we need to be more inspired and self motivated. A very cliche start to the day, but I guess it needs to be said. This past weekend was literally revolved around movies saying one thing, Live your life to the fullest and bring out the best that you can really be....or just die in misery, self pity and regret. "The bucket list" A well written and perfectly cast movie. Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson brought the message out loud and clear. I have to admit that my reading hit a go slow at the beginning of the year, but the first book that i kick started the year with was worth the while. " The Pilgrimage" By Paul Coehlo a must read. It's the tale of the secrets to fightig the good fight called life, understanding how you can learn from the challenges that come into your life and the power of facing your fears head on for the bigger victory in the fight we call life!

I can't omit the fact that spirituality has also played a key role in changing my outlook on life. The power of depending on God has proved to be a relief and an experience in itself. I am scared, but not alone and with a single prayer things tend to turn out ok! Live this week with inspiration and purpose, cause that's how we are meant to live everyday anyway!

Godspeed in your good fight!

What's with the Sleep?

So it's the 7th week of the year, chic has plans, chic has no psyche. I'm just tired and i constantly want to sleep. Then i get a phone call from an enthusiastic friend this morning who believes in me not to fail, not to back down. to keep going. I would love to all this but I've just lost the willpower to do it. I am so lazy and so tired i want to cry. I joined a gym, but alas i still have no enthusiasm, i feel dead. I really believe i need to go to church this Sunday or i am done for, for another week. I believe it is spiritual fatigue. Lord help me today , i have a brain storming meeting, not like my brain has been working at all.

I am tired even typing this...need to go and get some spiritual juice, i am spiritually void!

Write-a-thon 2008

So here I am dandy and good to go. Have fumbled around and now i have opted to take the plunge and wake up earlty be at work and use the comp while i am raising enough cash to buy a computer to use at home. I have entered myself into essay competitions i pray to God i'll complete. Then there is a movie script for a short film that i am meant to be working on. Insanity and burn out are about to hit me but need to keep at it and find ways of rejuvenating myself.
so here we are again! I have nothnig deep and prfound to say and all i can think of is how can i revamp this blog to make it more than just my online diary. Probabalya scrap book or an activists site in the making, i have no clue.
Eureka.................the need for urbanisation is here. the launch of an idea and a campaign.............re-build Kenya.Not quite enthusiatic and get up and go, but ia m working on it i am. Trying to start somewhere. Heck even Koffi Annan started somewhere.

Fresher than Fresh!!

It is a new week, the last week of the 2nd last month of the year! I feel great , i feel released. Released from their bondage of frustration and uncertainty! Prayed this weekend and rested, finished a book, getting started on another one. As always, reading "Condi: The Condolezza Rice Story" was inspiring and provocative. Made me realise, rather reaffirm that true success comes with sacrifice. That isn't anything new, but there's one element that i always over look. I love my sleep more than i love utilising the early hours of the day that the Good Lord gave me to do what i need to do to improve myself!
There's something that caught my ear yesterday evening when i was watching "Judging Amy", Vincent, the guy acting as Amy's brother the writer was in a correctional facility trying to get some talented writing prisoners to keep at what they do best! They expressed frustration in keeping at writing, when they knew very well that no one was going to read their work! He said something really smart....he said, "write for yourselves." I know it doesn't sound like much, but that statement meant alot to me! Here I am a writer by profession, but i have completely lost inspiration, what people would refer to as suffering from writers block! i try my best to keep at it, but at times i have no clue as to why i should even bother! The truth is, however discouraged or how bleak things may seem, it is important to keep at what we do best, even though we haven't really experienced the life transforming breakthrough in our lives!
That's why i know for the time to come, i will continue to use this blog as my notebook to the world! It may be the normal rants and raves of any other person. But the passion that exudes from me with every word i type, is my expression, is my contribution to the world of opinion and thought! I just believe that this is my answer to being! Being who i am, who I was and are yet to be and see!
It is a new day, the end of a month....the power is in the word that i print today, not necessarily to you, but it is to me!
The pleasure in having this site, is the comfort and fulfillment that it accords to me, without prejudice or favour!

I am in love with what i do, for the first time, i can genuinely say this, without a flinch or doubt in my heart or mind!

Am I making a big mistake?

The past couple of days have been a tussle! A tussle of sleep and excessive sleep, laziness, lack of self motivation and will! lack of purpose and a constant query.....why in the world am I here! It has nothing to do with finances at this point, it is the emotional crap and weird relationships that i am falling in to! It is so freaking messed up!
After what i have experienced this week, relationships of any kind seem to be repelling, literally re-igniting my initial fear of commitment and a strong disinterest in any form of committed relationship! It has sparked a burning immediacy for me to fight for myself, stand my ground, and fight for me, my progression in career and academia. I need to go back to school, i want to go back to school, and i need to care for what is important for me, fulfill my destiny, reach out to my dreams!
i have also realised and come to appreciate the significance of faith in my life, the purpose of human inadequacies to bring out the necessity of God, the supreme, spiritual being in our lives, who curves our lives in the direction that they are meant to be!
I am happy single, i have clearer mind to see what is urgent and what is important in my life! I am scared, scarred and cold! But one thing that i do know is that I need to choose what's best for me regardless of how scary it is! I know my thoughts are incoherent right now, but my spirit is right on track with where I am headed and where to be!
The time is now to listen to the Almighty and follow his lead................now i understand why they call it a LEAP of faith! cause right now i need a Ben Johnson leap to start this phase of my life!

Life is..............the decisions we make!

Every day i wake up and go through a new experience, i realise that there are some things that i will never be taught! They are just the lessons that are there for each one of us to learn from! I am at cross roads....in career, academia and future. Just a back and forth tussle on how to priorotize things in my life to make sure that each day i wake, i am making the right and only step that will take me to where i am destined to be. Or so i think i am destined to be......what the almight had destined them to be!That becomes the tricky part! A hard one to beat!

I hate being uncertain, it irritates me , i like being in control ( control freak i know) , knowing where i am headed and my destination. I get stuff all figured out, come to terms with the eventualities then something always comes up and tosses me into a state of discomfort and haziness! I keep going through that phases in a back and forth motion! I guess such is life!
The eventualities of life is such!

Here comes November!!!!

So here we are another month and the year is ending!!! Nothing new, I am slackening and warming up to complacency, eating messed up food that is screwing with my digestive system, life is great!
Things just get more intriguing at work each and every other day,I have a report that is ridiculously long overdue and i have no clue where to start! So here is the booster, the next time you think that working your ass off for some one's dream at your own expense is the road to comfort, look at our parents who believed in government and a "reliable"pension package to cruise through retirement!
I just realised that I talk too much, and I am really scared to make life changing decisions! I just wish i could scream and zap out of being an adult to a child, but this time i will agree to do what i am told, have decisions made for me and blame all the bad outcomes on my parents poor judgement! Shame it doesn't work that way......