Fresher than Fresh!!

It is a new week, the last week of the 2nd last month of the year! I feel great , i feel released. Released from their bondage of frustration and uncertainty! Prayed this weekend and rested, finished a book, getting started on another one. As always, reading "Condi: The Condolezza Rice Story" was inspiring and provocative. Made me realise, rather reaffirm that true success comes with sacrifice. That isn't anything new, but there's one element that i always over look. I love my sleep more than i love utilising the early hours of the day that the Good Lord gave me to do what i need to do to improve myself!
There's something that caught my ear yesterday evening when i was watching "Judging Amy", Vincent, the guy acting as Amy's brother the writer was in a correctional facility trying to get some talented writing prisoners to keep at what they do best! They expressed frustration in keeping at writing, when they knew very well that no one was going to read their work! He said something really smart....he said, "write for yourselves." I know it doesn't sound like much, but that statement meant alot to me! Here I am a writer by profession, but i have completely lost inspiration, what people would refer to as suffering from writers block! i try my best to keep at it, but at times i have no clue as to why i should even bother! The truth is, however discouraged or how bleak things may seem, it is important to keep at what we do best, even though we haven't really experienced the life transforming breakthrough in our lives!
That's why i know for the time to come, i will continue to use this blog as my notebook to the world! It may be the normal rants and raves of any other person. But the passion that exudes from me with every word i type, is my expression, is my contribution to the world of opinion and thought! I just believe that this is my answer to being! Being who i am, who I was and are yet to be and see!
It is a new day, the end of a month....the power is in the word that i print today, not necessarily to you, but it is to me!
The pleasure in having this site, is the comfort and fulfillment that it accords to me, without prejudice or favour!

I am in love with what i do, for the first time, i can genuinely say this, without a flinch or doubt in my heart or mind!

Am I making a big mistake?

The past couple of days have been a tussle! A tussle of sleep and excessive sleep, laziness, lack of self motivation and will! lack of purpose and a constant query.....why in the world am I here! It has nothing to do with finances at this point, it is the emotional crap and weird relationships that i am falling in to! It is so freaking messed up!
After what i have experienced this week, relationships of any kind seem to be repelling, literally re-igniting my initial fear of commitment and a strong disinterest in any form of committed relationship! It has sparked a burning immediacy for me to fight for myself, stand my ground, and fight for me, my progression in career and academia. I need to go back to school, i want to go back to school, and i need to care for what is important for me, fulfill my destiny, reach out to my dreams!
i have also realised and come to appreciate the significance of faith in my life, the purpose of human inadequacies to bring out the necessity of God, the supreme, spiritual being in our lives, who curves our lives in the direction that they are meant to be!
I am happy single, i have clearer mind to see what is urgent and what is important in my life! I am scared, scarred and cold! But one thing that i do know is that I need to choose what's best for me regardless of how scary it is! I know my thoughts are incoherent right now, but my spirit is right on track with where I am headed and where to be!
The time is now to listen to the Almighty and follow his lead................now i understand why they call it a LEAP of faith! cause right now i need a Ben Johnson leap to start this phase of my life!

Life is..............the decisions we make!

Every day i wake up and go through a new experience, i realise that there are some things that i will never be taught! They are just the lessons that are there for each one of us to learn from! I am at cross roads....in career, academia and future. Just a back and forth tussle on how to priorotize things in my life to make sure that each day i wake, i am making the right and only step that will take me to where i am destined to be. Or so i think i am destined to be......what the almight had destined them to be!That becomes the tricky part! A hard one to beat!

I hate being uncertain, it irritates me , i like being in control ( control freak i know) , knowing where i am headed and my destination. I get stuff all figured out, come to terms with the eventualities then something always comes up and tosses me into a state of discomfort and haziness! I keep going through that phases in a back and forth motion! I guess such is life!
The eventualities of life is such!

Here comes November!!!!

So here we are another month and the year is ending!!! Nothing new, I am slackening and warming up to complacency, eating messed up food that is screwing with my digestive system, life is great!
Things just get more intriguing at work each and every other day,I have a report that is ridiculously long overdue and i have no clue where to start! So here is the booster, the next time you think that working your ass off for some one's dream at your own expense is the road to comfort, look at our parents who believed in government and a "reliable"pension package to cruise through retirement!
I just realised that I talk too much, and I am really scared to make life changing decisions! I just wish i could scream and zap out of being an adult to a child, but this time i will agree to do what i am told, have decisions made for me and blame all the bad outcomes on my parents poor judgement! Shame it doesn't work that way......